Guilt

I thought sending you to hell
would stop me from going there too
so I did,
not knowing you’d fight back

Your resistance,
my dear,
sent a series of guilty feeling
crawling down my spine
penetrating my pores,
it swam through my veins
and reached my heart,
and every day you were away
the guilt ghost greeted me

I thought sending you to hell
was my best move,
but your resistance,
my dear,
wedded me with guilt.

AB – 8.1.18

Advertisements

Midnight Prayer

As the night fell
and the sky displayed different shades
of lights on flying sticks,
the countdown started
and the midnight struck,
a prayer was sent.

May you remember
that you’re the petals that extract the sweetest honey,
the bright dancing lights that decorate the northern skies,
the music,
that makes everyone sashay in harmony

and sure you’re the Yeses and the Noes
and the Maybes in between,
and you’re the bad decisions
and the regrets
and the Should’ve and the Could’ve Beens

But please remember,
you’re also the hugs,
that lift up some heaviness,
the smiles,
that brighten up the bad days

and when time goes rough,
please remember that
you’re the lioness,
that gives birth to the kings.

AB – 1.1.18 – Happy new year!!!

One More Time

One more time
Neither of us are brave enough
Explanations, long overdue, mean nothing but shame

Millions of words were sent your way
Only to float around, meaningless, powerless,
Ripped off of their true intention,
Embarrassed, for once out they can’t be taken back

Tracks of early love were barely covered
Implying hope that lies weakly on its dying bed
Maybe it’s finally time to admit
Enough, my dear, you’ve had enough

AB – 24.12.17

Sinned

Forgive me Father,
for I almost sinned
I saw this lake full of temptation
and I jumped and lost myself
I gulped like I never drank before,
I let the water freshen my thirsty soul

Forgive me Father,
for I almost sinned
I saw this sky glazing with lure
and I never stopped staring since
I spread my arms wide open,
welcoming the lights that never reached me

Forgive me Father,
for I almost sinned
I saw this precious piece of decoy
and I whispered I’d make it mine
I made wine out of its charm,
and got drunk from the warmth that filled my being

Forgive me Father,
for I almost sinned
I saw an angel with damaged wings
and I stood still watching our worlds collide
Her entirety induced me,
yet I did nothing to elude

Forgive me Father,
for I almost sinned
I did all I could to do no harm
yet I died,
strangled by her beauty

AB – 20.12.17

Museum

Some people decide
to turn themselves to a museum
turning stories to history,
piling up artifacts of memory
Their tracks of touch
still warm on your skin
turn to fossils
overnight,
as you watch them,
do all you can to retain them,
not wanting to admit
the more you dig
the more precious they become

Some people decide
to turn themselves to a museum
But you know what’s so great about museum?

It reminds you,
when history was so ugly,
you don’t have to do it again tomorrow

AB – 14.12.17

All Over Again

I thought it would take me
a thousand mouths
to erase your name,
to rinse my memories of you,
to refill the void
that your absence caused,
like it’s the only thing that could cover up
a horrible, regrettable tattoo
visibly painted all over my being

Turns out,
it only took another mistake
for everything to be renewed –
only to find myself
repeating the cycle all over again

AB – 5.12.17

Buried

I thought
I buried you somewhere far
Your graveyard covered in different kinds of old autumn leaves
and dirt and coldness
and nothingness
I thought I had my head up high
Chaffing the thoughts of weakness symptoms
So I smiled
and I smiled
and I smiled
and I smiled
Until people stopped asking

Today I waited at the street I knew you used to take
Not to talk or to greet you
More like a proof to myself you can’t affect me any longer
Yet every bit of excitement
and a whole lot of disappointment
felt like a stab right in my chest
I wondered if I totally lost it already
If what I did all this time was a complete waste of everything I still owned

I guess when I buried you somewhere far,
you also took me with you.

AB – 22.11.17

Alright

My dear,
I’ve seen the sky pouring so hard
like it was cut open,
and all the water it contains
just escapes like baby goats
running from the lion for their lives
Yet each time it happens,
a beautiful range of colours will soon come out,
as if to convince the spectators
that terrible and terrific come one after another

And now, once again,
the rain was pouring then the sun came out to play,
then it left and the moon then showed up
completing its cycle and marking your date,
the 25th of the 365th time they’re coming and going,
and soon there will be more rain and more sun and more snow and sun again,
and maybe the moon will play along at night or maybe you can’t relly see it,
but just remember, my Darling,
a phase makes a part of a bigger world,
and everything you are and you choose to be is great,
even at times you can’t realy see
Happy birthday, Sweetheart.
Everything will be alright.

Maybe

Words have always been powerful,
descriptive, explanatory,
yet deceitful,
you take it how you want it
Especially when it comes to love,
they always use a language
I could never understand
So I try
to transform them to numbers,
because they never lie.

Of all 42 times
the moons have shown its full face,
only in the first ten,
you made my tide rose
with joy and sunshine and poetry
the rest you left me covered
with sorrow,
darkness and nothingness
Less than a quarter of time
of our whole togetherness
you made my heart warm
yet every time your name flashes up again,
I still hope this time it could be it.

Maybe this is what they mean,
when they talk of love.

AB – 4.8.17